Miss. Independent

I was talking to a friend last night. Just casual chit chat about life and dating and relationships. When he stops me mid sentence and says, "You don't want a man. You're Miss Independent!" I was shocked. He went on, "You are confident, you can do anything you put your mind to. You have accomplished so much in the past few months, without a man. You don't want a man. In your mind you don't need a man." And still he went on and on.



I hung up feeling like I had been punched in the gut. It was already late, and this schmuck had just unloaded on me something I had been trying to avoid. So, I was up more than half the night thinking of what he had said. Disecting every part trying to fit the pieces together of where he was wrong.





In todays society, a woman has to fend for herself. That doesn't neccasarliy mean that she wants to. Me for example. I have a career, a job and a home. I am responsible. I show up for work everyday. I work hard and I play hard. I clean my home from top to bottom every week. I bathe the dogs every week, and if you know my dogs, that is quite a task at times. I cook every night. Not just something I can throw in the microwave real quick, I am talking a main course and one or two sides. My garage is orderly and clean and then you get to the outside yard. I mow, I trim the bushes and weed the flower bed. I plant new flowers and I try to have as big a garden I can, seeing that it can fit in with my work schedule. I attend church every week. I am involved in two Bible study groups. I make time everyday for my devotions with God. And I read books that help me establish my relationship with Christ. And I do all of this on my own. I don't ask for help. I don't complain about it. I don't let the work go to the way side. I get up, and do it. Why? Because I am a responsible confident woman. And, as I started out....this doesn't neccasarily mean that I want to. It's just what I do.





One of my favorite chapters in the Bible is the Proverbs 31 woman. I have been striving to be more like this woman since my mid 20's. She is strong. She is confident. She has so much love and respect from her children and her husband. She is a diligent worker. She contributes to her household. And she does all of this without a word, without a complaint. She does what she has to do. And they call her blessed.





If they call her blessed where does this guy get off? I am doing everything she is doing. The only thing missing is a husband and some kids. Then I started thinking, maybe I am suppose to wait until I get married to be this woman? Maybe my confidence is scaring men off just like he says it is. Maybe, maybe, maybe.....





And then it came to me. Proverbs 31 was written by a mother to her young son, who would someday be king. In verses 1-9 she covers his role in leadership. Verses 10-31 she advises him on the type of wife he should seek, one who will be far more valuable than jewels. She taught him to memorize this scripture by the Hebrew alphabet at a very young age. Taught this way he learned it quickly, memorized it and it was "permanently etched into his heart." By the end of the alpahabet this mother had instilled this vituous woman's qualities into his heart soul and mind.



Proverbs 31 10-31 was written by a mother, telling her young son what he should look for in a woman, a wife, a mother, a companion, a business partner and a confidant. This woman that she is setting before her son, is at the moment a young single woman. His future wife should already possess all of the characteristics before they are married!



So, my friend is wrong. And I am sure it will be a topic of conversation in the near future. Yes, I have quite a ways to go before I can fully demonstrate the characteristics of this Proverbs 31 woman. But I strive for it daily. I etch those verses on my heart on my soul and in my mind. And, just becuase my one friend may not see it, my "King Lemul" will.....when we finally cross paths.

So, we should look at this as the Proverbs 31 woman once was Miss. Independent