Runaway Bride Syndrome

Over the last 10+ years I have managed to have a high school sweetheart, a husband and a fiance. And sadly to say, they were not the same person. You know the song "Clumsy" by Fergie....that's me. I bounce back fast and hate being single. But this last break up, with the "one I was gonna marry" it was a real doozey. It shook me to my very core. Being old enough to know that alcohol wouldn't fix the pain, I turned to God. I laid there on my floor one night, sobbing and crying out. And right then and there I and God made a deal.

You see, the last 10 years of my life hadn't been centered around God the last 10 years of my life really hadn't been centered around me. It had been centered around eveyone else around me. Do to a certain event in my life, I gave up on me completely and focused on eveyone else. I lost myself. This is where my friends decided that I have the, are you ready for it? Runaway Bride Syndrome! Now, if you have ever seen this movie, featuring Julia Roberts and Richard Gere you know exactly what I am talking about. In the movie Julia, was alot like me. Had spent her time focused on everyone else and not on herself. She had lost a piece of herself and Richard Gere helped her see that. You should see the movie, its really cute.

Now, don't start thinking that I don't know what eggs I like and stuff like that. I know how I like my eggs, I love bacon yet prefer turkey bacon, I don't care if I eat Jiff or Peter Pan and Peanut M&M's are great and so are the plain. You see I lost myself in other ways.

I had lost my love for Christ. I had lost the very center of my universe. And in July of 2007 as I lay on that floor, he let me know it. As I lay there I made my deal with God. And just a little piece of advice......never do that unless you expect to stay with it, because God always holds up his end of the bargain.

Our deal: never let anyone or anything ever come between me and my Lord and Savior. I vowed that if it were to happen, rip that very thing from my life. And believe me......it has happened......twice now. Once you start letting things come between you and God, well he's a jealous God and he will let you know. The important question to ask here is, "Am I learning from it?"

So, here I am back to square one. Finding myself single. It is hard, and it sucks. But as I have learned in the past few weeks. Having someone doesn't make you someone. Being married won't and doesn't make you happy. You have to first be happy with who you are before the rest of it can come together.

I read something by Myles Munroe last night that really made me think. You see, I am very black and white when it gets down to it. If there is any shade of grey, well I will ponder it and argue it until it is black or white. In his book he says, "God only presents to you a mate, you choose" You see, I have always been so wrapped up in the idea that there is only one guy out there......"what if I mess it up, miss the target, miss the boat......and I am single forever!" Well, according to Myles, and in that case scripture. That just doesn't happen. You see, God presents you with a mate as he presents you with Salvation. He lets you choose. Think about it!

This was a huge weight lifted off my shoulders. I don't need to worry any longer about missing Mr Right. I can focus on me, and when Mr Right comes along I can choose. And because of my relationship with Christ I will know when Mr Right is standing there before me.

So, no more Runaway Bride Syndrome. It's time to focus on me and God. Who I am in Christ.

See ya at my next blog!